To most people, an affair can equal the end of a line in a relationship. However, the answer is not always so in a marriage. Marriages revolve not only around the lives of the two partners – but they also more strongly revolve around the children (if there are any) and relatives. Therefore, ending a marriage is a serious matter: it is definitely not something that should be decided in the heat of the moment (i.e. the moment you find out that your partner has cheated on you). Before thinking about divorce, there are things that must be first considered – otherwise, you would just be running away from the relationship and from your responsibilities as the other partner in the marriage. While you might think of it as unfair, and that you are the wronged party, the truth is that after an affair, both partners should properly talk about it – especially if the other partner is willing to change for you.
What’s most important is that both partners understand why an affair took place. While they are more common in relationships already dragged down by many different problems, they can also happen in relationships with seemingly no problems. The truth is, there is no ultimate barrier against infidelity – happy relationships might deter it to some extent, but not hundred percent. The cause will not always be a single, definite one – even the tiniest mistakes might have bigger effects than you’d expect.
Therefore, take time to talk to your partner. It might even take months, but if you’re willing to stick through, you will have to be patient. Dealing with the aftermath is by no means easy, and it will definitely be painful – for both parties (yes, even your partner). Know that you will have to talk at length and understand why the affair happened. Don’t bother talking when you’re tired or emotional – these conversations will need both partners to be rational and sensitive of the other. Also, make sure to listen to your partner. As much as the fault might lie within him or her, you have to understand that there might be behaviours of yours which pushed your partner towards infidelity. Considering good infidelity counselling is another good idea.
Counselling will enable both parties to voice their feelings, frustrations and problems much more easily. Not only will the counsellor prevent either of you from getting too hot-headed, but he or she will also serve as an important mediator between the two of you. The counsellor will enable to view your problems and your partner’s problems from different perspectives, and will provide valuable advice.
Remember, while it might be painful for now, a mended relationship can become an even stronger bond. Broken trust is not easy to rebuild – but it is never an impossible feat. If anything, you can look forward to a much brighter future with your partner, because you will have both overcome a very high hurdle, and any lemons life will give you in the future will definitely not be such a threat to the both of you anymore! Click this link http://www.allinthefamilycounselling.com/index.php/marriage-a-couple/marriage-a-couple for more information about Singapore marriage counselling.